#30. The Diary of a Stay at Home Dad (with Twins)

Wishing it were as easy as this photo makes it look!

It’s 9:30 AM, which means one of two things today.  First, it means I have been ‘babytending’ for nearly 1.5 hours now: feeding (luckily the twins are getting to the point where they can begin feeds with the bottle propped in their sleepers

Show offs!

so I can sort of overlap their feeds without listening to the first screams of the morning), changing diapers (which is somehow the easiest task of the day), cleaning up the mess from the tall glass of coffee I savor every morning that got dumped when I knocked the lamp off the nightstand into the coffee which flew and spilled coffee all over the floor and on top of Luke’s rock n’ play (he wasn’t phased…good thing I drink iced coffee… and now 1.5 hours later I have FINALLY poured myself a new glass), dressing for the day (and re-dressing Luke since he launched spit up over his head and down his face and screamed in fear for the next 15 minutes while I gave him an impromptu bath and new set of clothes…and the changing table that had just seen a change in the changing pad, consequently, had to be changed again).   Good thing Trig is having a good day so far!

She's been such a good girl with her new family members

I, of course, am still in glasses and my teeth are nowhere close to being brushed.  My hair is currently buzzed to help offset my lack of morning prep time.  I may have just my teeth pulled next. This isn’t necessarily a typical morning, but you never know when this type of scene might strike.  Let’s hope the worst of the day is over.

The good news is that 9:30 also signifies we are only 30 minutes away from the most exciting hour of television on daytime TV, The Price is Right!

Come on down!!

I am sure I will be interrupted from gazing at the screen off and on a few times.  It is the one show where I will actually pause the dvr if disrupted. Watching all six pricing games, wheel spinning, and the showcase showdown have become a daily ritual and the only sense of 'routine' I have left!

We have found many experienced parents were right…the first few months are hell.  We are in the 3rd month now and maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel (even though a morning like today seems like the tunnel has been sealed off).  Both twins are now smiling

Atta girl!

Atta boy!

which means they can be coaxed a little easier from going the other direction and screaming endlessly for some reason I will most likely never know.  Smiles help to forget a little of the sleep loss we have incurred (as well as a rough morning).  They still eat, sleep, fart (good thing I can't blog smells), and need their pacifiers replaced an average of (meaning some hours it is 0 since they are sleeping…and some hours are way more than) 6-7 times each an hour.

Hey, it's not as easy as it looks!

There are brief moments of non-chaos where I can go to the bathroom or throw a load of laundry in the washer that may not see the dryer anytime soon in addition to taking an hour plus to fold when I get around to it.  Despite all of the daily disorder, Clare, Luke, and I have managed to survive the first month of being at home together during the daytime.

Surviving stayin' at home with dad

It definitely has not been easy, but outside of a rough morning like today, things are improving a little each day.  Everyone says ‘it gets better’, which sometimes sounds like a nicer version of ‘you look sleep deprived and I wouldn’t be surprised if you can't recite the alphabet from start-to-finish’ (my usually strong memory has seen better days since the babies arrived...it's called 'baby brain'). Everyone also likes to tell us we need to get the babies into 'a routine'.  I think some people forgot what the first three months are like with a newborn let alone having any idea what two newborns are like.  I’m not complaining or looking for sympathy but the first few months are anything but routine.  This is the beginning.  There is no routine.  I’m part German and if there were the chance for routine, we’d be on it and it would be efficient as hell.  It’s a roller coaster and the best thing you can do is to try to not fall off the ride.

Babies, as they say, don’t come with owner’s manuals.  If it were even possible, each manual would be unique.  Our twins are definitely an example of that.  I can remember when Chris and I first started our gift registry at Target.  We brought the person we considered our best resource, Chris’ sister Lisa-Marie.  I’ll never forget the power of having the registry radar gun in my hand, nor how I wondered why it didn’t come with a cocktail by the time we were through.  Lisa-Marie supported us up and down the seemingly never-ending rows of baby stuff (skipping the breast pump aisle felt like a mini-victory) trying to explain to us that she didn’t actually know what type of bottle/pacifier/formula/etc. to recommend.  I was so confused given that she has two kids of her own, but she explained to us that Ben liked bottle ‘X’, Nick likes bottle ‘Y’, and bottle ‘Z’ is considered the best by the ‘experts’.  I get it now.  Nothing illustrates this better than our twins’ feeding habits.  As we found out in Thailand, Luke prefers Avent bottles and Clare prefers Pigeon,

Luke's bottle; Clare's bottle

the two bottle types we were gifted with on our departure from the hospital in Bangkok.   Despite our attempts to get them to enjoy the fancy Dr. Brown’s bottles (the bottle deemed best by the ‘experts’) we had waiting at home, they feed much better out of their original likings. No big deal, right?   I picked up a few more Avent bottles at Target and we are saving  Dr. Brown’s for another day in the event they miraculously become less picky.  The only problem is that Pigeon, a brand admired by many countries of the world (visit pigeon.com if you don’t believe me and see the map dotted everywhere but here), is not a brand with an American audience.  Amazon can deliver Pigeon bottles, but it takes around 30 days unless you want to spend $50 for a bottle for shipping.  Maybe $50 would be worth it, but we are going the route of hand-washing Miss Clare’s two precious Pigeon bottles several times daily to keep her contently nourished.

Thanks, dads!

Their formula preference is also interesting.  Thankfully, they both like the same brand, Similac.  What’s funny is that we never expected to define Luke (blue) and Clare (purple) when we chose the colors of their nursery,

Luke's wall; Clare's wall

 and that that decision would dictate things like which version of formula each would eat.

Luke's formula; Clare's formula

As if this isn't enough, Clare needs her formula warmed or she won’t take it so well.  Luke, as Luke normally is, could care less.  So, two babies, two different bottles, two different formulas, and two different temperatures all make the process of feeding two babies (and packing a diaper bag for the road) an awesome experience.  Thankfully, they are both cooperating by wearing the same brand of diapers.  For now.  

I’m not quite Mr. Mom yet.  There are no poker nights with other stay-at-homes and I haven’t warmed the grilled cheese sandwiches with an iron yet.  I do tease myself into trying to get hooked on The Young and the Restless.  It’s not working.  Even though I was amused by snippets I saw of a recent episode where the characters all ended up in jail together following an unexpected convergence of bachelor and bachelorette parties (it was one of those episodes where they showed the jail scene at the beginning and then the text...’5 hours earlier’...followed by the events leading up to the incarceration), I don’t think I’ll be seriously watching regularly despite the fact I can’t seem to find the time to change the channel from CBS after The Price is Right.  TV is more or less background noise and an outlet to hearing human interaction during the day.  At least I’m listening to beautiful people.

I do make it a goal for us to get out of the house each day.  We have taken many trips in the double (note, not double wide) stroller.

This is way more comfortable than those carriers in Thailand!!

The twins are typically well-behaved (meaning asleep) on our journeys.  They love motion.  Some of our popular destinations are Mariano's (our local grocery), Walgreens, lunch dates with ‘work from home’ friends, and, on Wednesdays, we are regulars at the Andersonville Farmer’s Market.

Gettin' our fruit and vegetables on

Getting out is good, though I don’t want to think about the winter.  Luckily, we are only 16 days away from a very important day...the day the twins are eligible for the Kids Club at LA Fitness. Whether I actually work out, do some grocery shopping at Mariano's, or sleep in the locker room, it might provide a short time now and then to re-energize.  I have a feeling the light will be a little brighter at the end of the tunnel that day!