#25. A Day to Forget

We apologize for all of the drama in the next couple of posts as well as the 'radio silence' we became in the final weeks of our adventure in Thailand. We encountered some intense obstacles in our attempt at bringing everyone home.  The good news is that there is a happy ending!  

I guess it was too good to be true that everything had worked out so perfectly with our entire surrogacy journey as we made our final push for the finish line.  Things took an unexpected, dramatic turn in the days leading up to and following our attempted departure.  The only way to categorize what/why/how/etc. is to chalk it up to the crappiest timing ever.  Two horrifying surrogacy stories leaked just days before we attempted to leave which put our exit from and surrogacy in Thailand in jeopardy.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-28686114

http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/08/08/us-thailand-surrogacy-raid-idUSKBN0G815E20140808

It truly was horrific timing...

On Wed. August 13, we woke up excited.  It was supposed to be the day when we would finally begin to make the long journey back home to family, friends, and our dog, Trig, in Chicago.

Me and the twins from our hotel room...their birth hospital is in the background

Packed and ready to go, we headed to the airport and checked in.  We said our goodbyes to our surrogacy facilitator Kim, who tagged along, and headed to Immigration.

Me, Auntie Kim, and the twins

Chicago, here we come!

Unfortunately, our smiles and excitement quickly turned into disappointment and despair.  As many of you know, we were denied exiting Thailand by Thai Immigration.  The rejection was devastating and took awhile to process.  The uncertainty of what was to come was even more difficult.  We certainly had no intentions of being discussed in the media as an 'American couple banned from leaving Thailand'.

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2014/08/15/2-us-couples-reportedly-banned-from-leaving-thailand-with-surrogate-babies/

I will finish this post by posting the letter I sent over email to all addresses I could find.  This was sent a few days after our attempt to exit.


Dear Family and Friends…

We apologize for the lack of communication in the past few days. The first thing I want to say is that we are all very much FINE. Clare and Luke are doing well (even screaming less!). I will try to fill you in below with details. Again, the most important thing is that we are all fine and safe.

On Wednesday, as stated on our blog, we tried to leave Bangkok for Manila. We had heard that some folks were turned away in the week leading up to our departure but we were advised we had everything we needed documentation-wise to exit. This was, however, not the case. We were turned away at immigration without any explanation as to why or what we were lacking.

Unfortunately, we are trying to leave at an extremely unlucky time. A couple of weeks ago, two disgraceful stories surfaced related to people using surrogacy in Thailand. One is an Aussie couple that left Thailand with one of two twin babies (the one they left behind has Down’s). The 50+ year old Aussie father ended up being a formerly convicted sex offender who claims he is recovered and so 'it shouldn’t be a problem'. The other story involves the son of a wealthy Japanese man who has used various surrogates and agencies to father more than (no one knows for sure) ten children to take back to Japan in order to help run a family business in the future. These people are despicable human beings (you can’t make these stories up) and set off a firestorm in the Asia and Pacific press. The media storm escalated day by day and the Thai military (who took over the government in the coup in May) has stepped in and been extremely prompt and severe in their approach to banning surrogacy in Thailand, though, without passing any official legislation. So, being 180 degrees away from the amount of humanity these people have, we are still hundreds of miles away from home here in Bangkok. If you are trying to follow media, be aware that so many stories are being posted and we haven't found one media source reporting the full truth (though we have been cited as an American couple denied exit...hurray, we're famous!). We actually aren't reading much media at this point. Any news is old news anyway since things are always changing.

Discussion on Thai politics would take hours but our frustration is that things seem to change by the hour (as in the day we went to the airport), nothing is communicated (as we experienced at the airport), and no official law is enacted despite the conditions of non-enacted law being enforced (which means we are sitting here waiting to be told what to do), though without consistency. This is not America or anywhere else for that matter! With all of this in mind, we have tried to remain discreet about what is happening so as to protect ourselves (we have done nothing wrong even though that doesn’t seem to matter) and to not cause negativity that might encourage the military to strengthen their grip on the situation. We have temporarily taken down the blog to protect ourselves, and others in and related to our position. There are many people in this situation (hetero couples, same-sex couples, singles, Americans, Aussies, UK, etc), so we are by all means not alone. We have done everything right, but due to the despicable actions of a few, we are in this position.

The next stage is waiting to see what the Thai military decides to do with those of us who are, in a sense, being held ‘hostage’ here in Thailand. There are a lot of rumors circulating what this might be but we have no idea currently. It could be fast, it could be drawn out. We simply do not know. We are working with an immigration attorney and the US and Australian Embassies (there are many more Aussies here and the Australian embassy is much more proactive). We are hopeful this will come to quick resolution and we can get the H-E-L-L out of here. We still love Thailand and the Thai people. It is such a contradiction to walk the streets of Bangkok and be treated with such kindness and interest in our babies, only to remain stranded here by their xenophobic coup.

We have been through a wild ride the past five days filled with many emotional twists and turns. To say it has been extremely stressful and difficult would be an understatement. Yesterday, we decided to let go of some of our frustration and anger to renew our sanity. We hung out by a pool with some Aussie friends we met in the last week (the couple has twins one day older than ours and their 'mums' are both here as well...great people) and pushed ourselves to reach a better state of mind. The reality is that we have two beautiful babies that need us to keep it together and patiently wait for our opportunity to get home. Our time will most certainly come and it will make our homecoming that much sweeter. We shall overcome.

Please continue to be hopeful for us that things will change and this will not be drawn out. We will try to keep everyone updated as much as we possibly can. We are hoping to feel comfortable unblocking the blog soon so you can see pictures and videos of the twins. They are growing so fast and have a little more personality emerging each day. Clare is calming down and she loves to be held resting her head on your shoulder looking up at you ‘chatting’. Luke loves to be on his back air boxing and almost breaks out a smile when you do the backstroke with his arms. We sincerely hope to be back in Chicago soon. We miss all of you so much, and we can’t even think about Trig without getting upset.


Scott, Chris, Clare & Luke

The upcoming week would prove to be challenging and stressful.