#27. Escape from Bangkok

It's hard to believe it's already been more than a week since we left Thailand.  The days leading up to our departure were, at times, absolutely miserable.  We wouldn't want to relive them.  Each day was filled with twists and turns and we never knew how much closer we would end up to leaving Thailand. The one thing that remained constant was that we would wake up and still be in Bangkok.

The theme for us, and others in the same situation, was all about 'getting out'.  This was the goal and we worked hard each day towards doing just that.  We were told (since there was no indication from Thai authority what the hell was going on) that 'getting out' could be soon or it could take several months. We were not willing to settle for the latter, so we got down to business.  Some of our daily tasks were calling/visiting the US Embassy and lawyers as well as meeting up with other stranded families to discuss ideas and plans.  Luke and Clare took advantage and had some great play dates!

Aussie/American play date while dads talk business

Clare and Sophia...separated at birth??

Nappin' by the pool

Oh...I forgot the most important and consuming daily task...trying to care of two 4-week old babies that very much deserved better than still being in Thailand.

Get us the hell outta here!

Our daily work was especially frustrating since it really wasn't clear to us what was necessary to leave the country.  It was all about finding a way to satisfy Thai Military and Immigration without knowing specifically what might suffice.  We were not the only unsuccessful people trying to leave Thailand. Some tried to leave the country accompanied by the surrogate mother.  Others tried land border crossings into Cambodia.  Many were working with 'connected' Thai lawyers hoping to find a way to exit.  We investigated any and all options that were 'floating around'.

In the end, for us, it was through the help of the US Embassy that we left Thailand on Friday, August 22. We essentially (and frustratingly) left Thailand the same way we attempted the previous week. We took the same paperwork with one additional letter from the Embassy verifying we vowed to parent the twins until they turn 18 (they could have said 118).  The only difference was that a US Embassy agent accompanied us through the Immigration process.  We will probably never know what happened to allow us to leave in this way (or what agreement was made).  We also don't care. We got out. This time, all four of our passports were stamped

Best passport stamp ever!

and we were one step closer to being home.  It was HUGE relief despite the exhaustion that built getting to this point.  We took a moment to have a seat, relax, and enjoy people (who may or may not have known our predicament) walk by smiling at us (one even took a photo) and fawn over our children.  It had been awhile since that felt good. Of course, our first five minutes past immigration did not happen without a little controversy.  Unbeknownst to us, we sat on a back-to-back bench with unattended bags left behind on the other side.  So, as we enjoyed our triumphant moment, we were surrounded by an entourage of airport security.  We could have cared less....we got out!

Papa's first smile in a long time...Clare approves

Tears of joy from Luke

'Please tell me things won't be so crazy in Chicago'

Amen, sister

#26. The Camera was Still Rolling

Just like when the band played on as the Titanic began to sink, my camera continued to catch shots of the twins growing and being the wonderful newborns they are.  The days after our attempt to exit were stressful, but hanging out with our babies helped keep us going.

Papa Chris and Clare

Speaking of Titanic...

Such a good brother

Clare napping in dads' bed...

...always striking a pose

Sweet dreams, baby boy

Tummy time

Can we all just get along?!?

Lovin' the cuddlin'

1 month old today!!

Double fisting it

That tongue is always out!

Pacified...for now

Look at those cheeks!

More tummy time

A penny for your thoughts, Clare

Sleepin' in

#25. A Day to Forget

We apologize for all of the drama in the next couple of posts as well as the 'radio silence' we became in the final weeks of our adventure in Thailand. We encountered some intense obstacles in our attempt at bringing everyone home.  The good news is that there is a happy ending!  

I guess it was too good to be true that everything had worked out so perfectly with our entire surrogacy journey as we made our final push for the finish line.  Things took an unexpected, dramatic turn in the days leading up to and following our attempted departure.  The only way to categorize what/why/how/etc. is to chalk it up to the crappiest timing ever.  Two horrifying surrogacy stories leaked just days before we attempted to leave which put our exit from and surrogacy in Thailand in jeopardy.

Article #1                  Article #2

It truly was horrific timing...

On Wed. August 13, we woke up excited.  It was supposed to be the day when we would finally begin to make the long journey back home to family, friends, and our dog, Trig, in Chicago.

Me and the twins from our hotel room...their birth hospital is in the background

Packed and ready to go, we headed to the airport and checked in.  We said our goodbyes to our surrogacy facilitator Kim, who tagged along, and headed to Immigration.

Me, Auntie Kim, and the twins

Chicago, here we come!

Unfortunately, our smiles and excitement quickly turned into disappointment and despair.  As many of you know, we were denied exiting Thailand by Thai Immigration.  The rejection was devastating and took awhile to process.  The uncertainty of what was to come was even more difficult.  We certainly had no intentions of being discussed in the media as an 'American couple banned from leaving Thailand'.

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2014/08/15/2-us-couples-reportedly-banned-from-leaving-thailand-with-surrogate-babies/

I will finish this post by posting the letter I sent over email to all addresses I could find.  This was sent a few days after our attempt to exit.


Dear Family and Friends…

We apologize for the lack of communication in the past few days. The first thing I want to say is that we are all very much FINE. Clare and Luke are doing well (even screaming less!). I will try to fill you in below with details. Again, the most important thing is that we are all fine and safe.

On Wednesday, as stated on our blog, we tried to leave Bangkok for Manila. We had heard that some folks were turned away in the week leading up to our departure but we were advised we had everything we needed documentation-wise to exit. This was, however, not the case. We were turned away at immigration without any explanation as to why or what we were lacking.

Unfortunately, we are trying to leave at an extremely unlucky time. A couple of weeks ago, two disgraceful stories surfaced related to people using surrogacy in Thailand. One is an Aussie couple that left Thailand with one of two twin babies (the one they left behind has Down’s). The 50+ year old Aussie father ended up being a formerly convicted sex offender who claims he is recovered and so 'it shouldn’t be a problem'. The other story involves the son of a wealthy Japanese man who has used various surrogates and agencies to father more than (no one knows for sure) ten children to take back to Japan in order to help run a family business in the future. These people are despicable human beings (you can’t make these stories up) and set off a firestorm in the Asia and Pacific press. The media storm escalated day by day and the Thai military (who took over the government in the coup in May) has stepped in and been extremely prompt and severe in their approach to banning surrogacy in Thailand, though, without passing any official legislation. So, being 180 degrees away from the amount of humanity these people have, we are still hundreds of miles away from home here in Bangkok. If you are trying to follow media, be aware that so many stories are being posted and we haven't found one media source reporting the full truth (though we have been cited as an American couple denied exit...hurray, we're famous!). We actually aren't reading much media at this point. Any news is old news anyway since things are always changing.

Discussion on Thai politics would take hours but our frustration is that things seem to change by the hour (as in the day we went to the airport), nothing is communicated (as we experienced at the airport), and no official law is enacted despite the conditions of non-enacted law being enforced (which means we are sitting here waiting to be told what to do), though without consistency. This is not America or anywhere else for that matter! With all of this in mind, we have tried to remain discreet about what is happening so as to protect ourselves (we have done nothing wrong even though that doesn’t seem to matter) and to not cause negativity that might encourage the military to strengthen their grip on the situation. We have temporarily taken down the blog to protect ourselves, and others in and related to our position. There are many people in this situation (hetero couples, same-sex couples, singles, Americans, Aussies, UK, etc), so we are by all means not alone. We have done everything right, but due to the despicable actions of a few, we are in this position.

The next stage is waiting to see what the Thai military decides to do with those of us who are, in a sense, being held ‘hostage’ here in Thailand. There are a lot of rumors circulating what this might be but we have no idea currently. It could be fast, it could be drawn out. We simply do not know. We are working with an immigration attorney and the US and Australian Embassies (there are many more Aussies here and the Australian embassy is much more proactive). We are hopeful this will come to quick resolution and we can get the H-E-L-L out of here. We still love Thailand and the Thai people. It is such a contradiction to walk the streets of Bangkok and be treated with such kindness and interest in our babies, only to remain stranded here by their xenophobic coup.

We have been through a wild ride the past five days filled with many emotional twists and turns. To say it has been extremely stressful and difficult would be an understatement. Yesterday, we decided to let go of some of our frustration and anger to renew our sanity. We hung out by a pool with some Aussie friends we met in the last week (the couple has twins one day older than ours and their 'mums' are both here as well...great people) and pushed ourselves to reach a better state of mind. The reality is that we have two beautiful babies that need us to keep it together and patiently wait for our opportunity to get home. Our time will most certainly come and it will make our homecoming that much sweeter. We shall overcome.

Please continue to be hopeful for us that things will change and this will not be drawn out. We will try to keep everyone updated as much as we possibly can. We are hoping to feel comfortable unblocking the blog soon so you can see pictures and videos of the twins. They are growing so fast and have a little more personality emerging each day. Clare is calming down and she loves to be held resting her head on your shoulder looking up at you ‘chatting’. Luke loves to be on his back air boxing and almost breaks out a smile when you do the backstroke with his arms. We sincerely hope to be back in Chicago soon. We miss all of you so much, and we can’t even think about Trig without getting upset.


Scott, Chris, Clare & Luke

The upcoming week would prove to be challenging and stressful.

#24. One Last Adventure in Bangkok

We are definitely coming along with the sequel to The Crying Game.  Don't be surprised if there is a trilogy...or more.  In the meantime, Luke and Clare wanted me to show you this audition video they put together earlier today. (Not sure if Luke is directing Clare's screams like a drum major or if he's shadow boxing.)

We have tried to figure out why there has been so much crying (outside of the fact they love to pose for the pics and videos).  It doesn't seem to consistently be hunger, dirty diaper, or even gas.  We have come to the conclusion we just have needy kids that desire lots of cuddling and attention.  So, be ready to show these two whiners lots of love when we get home!

They really are sweet...

...when they're quiet!

Speaking of coming home we want to announce our official return plans.  We are currently scheduled to leave Bangkok on Wednesday afternoon for Manila, Philippines.  We will stay the night in Manila and then are planning to head back to Chicago on Thursday (unfortunately, not direct).  There have been some recent developments here in Thailand, specifically at the airport, that have made things a little fuzzy on whether we can leave as scheduled. We are hopeful we will have no trouble getting out on Wednesday.  We will keep everyone posted through the blog...I plan to make a post Wednesday when we arrive in Manila.

Despite all of the morning cries, we woke up to our first (mostly) clear skies here in Bangkok!

First morning of blue skies in an entire month!

While clear skies this time of year likely means blistering sun and heat, we decided to use Monday morning as a day to head out one last time.  Before our adventure, we headed over to BNH Hospital for one last appointment.

Always looking at that phone

We thought we were scheduled for an eye exam for the twins, but apparently things were lost in communication and we were actually scheduled for another checkup with the pediatrician.  However, the pediatrician was not in the office due to a family issue.  So, we asked for and were granted a quick weigh-in (which is pretty much the only reason Chris has been interested in these appointments) and were on our way.  Clare (it's always ladies first) took the scale first.

Cries of joy, of course...3064 grams, 6.8 lbs, up 1.3 lbs from last week...wow!

Luke also showed a big gain.

Bubba's packing it on...3420 grams, 7.5 lbs, up 1.5 lbs from last week

We were most proud with the fact neither of our twins wet the scale's cover pad this time around. Thanks BNH for the free weigh-in today!!

We think Luke might finally fit into the Baby Bjorn!

After leaving the hospital we took the twins to the sky train for their first ride on Bangkok's slick public transportation.  We headed a few stops to the pier to board the Chao Phraya River taxi.  The weather was too nice to pass up a ride on the river.

Bored waiting to board

The views were nice with the blue skies and sun.

Rollin' on a (Chao Phraya) River

Random insignificant temple along the river

The fast water taxi also created a breeze that made us forget about how hot the day was going to be.  The twins showed their usual enthusiasm for sightseeing,

Luke sawin' logs

Clare cooing to herself in slumber

but Luke allowed me to prop him up for a photo with Wat Arun, the temple we previously visited our first day in Bangkok.

Luke and I with Wat Arun in background

The temple's even better with the blue background

We passed by the Rama VII (former King of Thailand) Bridge

Neat suspension bridge over the river

and soon made our way to the northern pier near the temple we planned to visit.  We took a quick cool down/feeding break.  Unfortunately, the aircon in the establishment wasn't as cool as we were hoping.  There are about 5 different levels of A/C here in Thailand.  Level 1 is 'not so much'.  Level 2 is 'we can tell you are trying but have you been walking outside today?!?'.  Level 3 is 'just how we like it back home when we are inside and doing nothing'.  Level 4 is 'wow, this feels awesome but I can't stay long'.  Level 5 is 'holy crap are we in Vegas in the summer?'.  We don't care much for anything but Level 3, but this place was definitely a Level 2...not good given that we walked 10 minutes in the direct sun to get there.  We managed to get the kids to suck down a couple of ounces and cool off indoors.

Luke finishes it off

Clare passes out

Food comas

Our big destination for the day was one final temple, Wat Bechamabophit.  Bangkok has so many temples but this one is most known for the fact it is constructed from marble, and that it is on the 5 baht coin.

For comparison purposes...

As promised

We toured the grounds for a bit

Chris double-fisting it over the bridge

Me and the twins

Impressive Buddha inside the Wat

Neat temple architecture

After our excursion, we took a taxi home and started packing for our big day soon approaching.  We are looking forward to heading back to Chicago in a couple short days.  We will be in touch as we begin our voyage home!